Podcast
Episode 33: Lean on Me
The Catholic Women’s Guide to Healthy Relationships podcast episode 33 Hear the ways I plan to help Catholic women create a vital marriage that God wants for them. Or click on the icon below to download the mp3:
Self
Bitten by the ‘Comparing Bug’
Ouch! That old but familiar “comparing bug” stung me again. Yikes! It feels like a swarm of ants— only 100 times more irritating, nipping at my self-esteem. It’s been a while since I’ve seen him. I first recognized the “comparing bug” and comprehended his destructive power in my early twenties. With a few simple techniques I released myself from his power to experience years of comparison-free living. But just last week, he turned up again. My first “comparing bug nibble” was triggered by a comment shared by another … [Read More...]
Marriage
Destination Definition
Part of learning how to grow my business is to be coached. My coach prescribes quarterly review of my success plan / business plan, in a wholistic spirit I set both personal and business goals. I’ve been a strong advocate of using the best technology and proven business success techniques to have a robust spiritual life and healthy relationships from a Catholic perspective. Setting goals challenges us to grow. Concrete goals guide us on an unconscious level to move towards our target, even if we never look at our printed goal. But the act of making the goals is an act in … [Read More...]
Remedies to the Four Horsemen (Part 2)
In my last blog we explored John Gottman’s first two of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse towards marital failure: criticism and contempt. We’ll dissect the last two—defensiveness and stonewalling—whose presence become increasingly dangerous to the health of the marriage. As Catholics, we are a people of hope. So we’ll explore how to exit the stage with your spouse, leaving the confused horseman on stage for a solo performance. The “defensive” partner sees him or herself as a victim, always warding off a perceived attack. Some of the signs that defensiveness starts to … [Read More...]
Remedies to the Four Horsemen (Part 1)
To understand John Gottman’s research on why marriage succeed, you must familiarize yourself with the outcome on his research on the signs a couple will likely divorce. Observing the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse in the couples Gottman and his team interviewed enabled him to boast of 91-94% accuracy rate in predicting divorce. Here you’ll learn to spot them and how to prevent them taking root in your marriage. The four horsemen are criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling. Today we’ll look at the first two of the four—criticism and contempt. Gottman … [Read More...]
Nerdy Affection
It was obvious Dave Ramsey has been delivering “financial peace” to individuals and couples for decades. Within 20 minutes of his first or second video he pulled the bow of his arrow and hit the target of the challenges of couples working together on money. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62emrljp03c&feature=youtu.be Ramsey said most couples consist of a “nerd” and a “free spirit”. I’m a proud “nerd”, although a tired one. The “nerd” has multiple spreadsheets of income and expenditures and chases— sometimes beating his or her partner with the budget club at … [Read More...]
Skinning a Cat
The adage, “There’s more than one way to skin a cat” applies to marriage, too. John Gottman’s book, “Why Marriages Succeed or Fail” highlights practical application of the results of his decades-long research on which marriages last and which ones end up in divorce. Gottman, one of the few who have done longitudinal research on marriage, documents 94% accuracy in predicting divorce in the couples he observed. Gottman’s research benefits many couples by dispelling the myths around a “successful marriage”. He identifies three different types of stable marriages: the … [Read More...]
The Other Woman
I overheard him make the plans. On his way home from work he picked up the perfect wrist corsage. He wore his nicest suit, and waved to the kids and I as he drove to her house to pick her up for a night of dancing. I knew all about her, but I was okay. And, no, we don’t have an open marriage. The other woman was 11-year-old Cherrie. And she and my husband were headed off to the Challenge Club Father – Daughter Dance. Cherrie is delightful, one of the sweetest girls you’ll meet, raised by her great-grandmother since birth. Cherrie and “mom” run in our circles. Cherrie … [Read More...]
Marital Chess (Part 2)
In the previous blog I promised to deliver some effective marital chess moves to systematically catapult your marriage to greater charity and intimacy— whether or not your spouse is on board. Marital stress is based on the concept that a marriage is a system, and that it only takes one person in the system to change to positively change it. Marital chess is not manipulation; it is about thinking and acting smart. Marital chess can be a tool for you enhance love, the bond of perfection in your marriage. Mindfulness permeates a successful marital chess move. Consider the way you act … [Read More...]
My Red Bow Moment
There they go a couple of weeks before Christmas: ads with couples in their dining room. He gestures to have her look in the front drive to find a new Lexus with a big red bow. Or you see his hand giving her the box. She opens it and with wide eyes and open mouth, she begins to cry with joy for what’s inside. Or as you hear the jingle, “Every kiss begins with Kay”, you see the elaborate diamond necklace being worn to her. I always wonder what planet they are from. But this year I had my own big red bow moment. Last summer weeks before our 20th wedding anniversary, … [Read More...]
Practicing the relationship in 3s can help you gain rich, fun, and healthy friendships you've been yearning for. Get ready to fill up your relationship "gas tank" with love and joy, spilling over to people in need whom God may put in your path.
"The Catholic Women's Guide to Healthy Relationships: 12 Supernatural Keys to Make Good Relationships Great and Improve Difficult Ones", a virtual coach, guiding those striving to achieve or improve nurturing and healthy relationships from a Catholic perspective, is now available! Buy it separately or save 22% when bundled with the Double CD set "Living Relationships in 3s: Building Your Personal Foundation of God' Love".